A twitter pal, M.J. of Pars Caeli, gave me a big fat nugget to think about the other day. She asked me this: How do you talk about your blog in real life? It stopped me short for a moment, as I realized this is a topic I struggle with. My family sort of gets what I do, as well as some of my friends. But the general public?
When people ask me “what do you do?” I always start with a chuckle. Because what I do is a varied kaleidoscope depending on the day and the job at hand. I’m a designer, a stay-at-home/work-at-home mom, a sometimes (former? hibernating?) artist, a sometimes part-time professor, a chronic disease sufferer, and a writer/blogger. Notice I put blogging last. I have a stigma about this. And I’ve realized I only say “blogger” when I’m in a room full of like-minded bloggers. Because the term blogger still has a very weird response in the real world. Have you noticed this?
Somehow saying I’m a writer ties right into my creative ethos – I’m always somewhere on that spectrum. It took me years to say I was a designer, then even longer to say I was an artist. But owning up to my creative talents feels really good. Then Birdie arrived and suddenly those terms came into question. It’s only in the past year, as I began contributing to other blogs, that I felt comfortable owning the term writer, and blogger too.
Blogging pays (some) of my bills, it fuels my online friendships, it challenges me all the time, it spurs my creativity, it keeps me making things. I love having a space that is all mine. I love the opportunities for collaboration and contributing that it’s brought me. But I don’t say any of those things to people in real life.
In the end, I usually say something much less important: I started the blog to support my freelance design career. At least, that was my logical reason – the out loud reason I gave to my bemused uber-logical husband. But if I’m really honest? I started a blog because I wanted a place to call my own. A place I could share with anyone anywhere. A place to tinker, chat, and design. The fact that it has become so important to my day-to-day life is rather stunning to me. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. I think it’s time to own that. I think it’s time to help others understand what blogging really is to me.
How the heck do you talk about your blog – or what you do – in real life?
Do you own it? Or do you accidentally apologize for it?
{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }
Ha! This is really interesting, and yes, I struggle with this too! I think it’s even worse because I live in a small French village and most people just don’t get what I do at all. I thik they think I play around on the internet all day…
I started my blog because I wanted to open a shop and needed to create a strong web presence. Blogging far exceeded my expectations and it took me like 3 years to open a shop because I was so busy “being creative” online. It has given me a strong sense of identity and I really feel very much me online, more so than in my daily life where I speak French (I blog in English, my mother tongue). When people ask me what I do I usually say that I have an online shop first, then that I write for other blogs and magazines. Professional blogger comes last, almost like an add-on, and that’s so wrong, because that’s really how it all started.
I’m rambling, but it’s oh, such a relief to meet like-minded bloggers at a bloggers’ conference, for example. Mist of the time, I think they are the only people who really get me!
Deborah, I can’t believe how different your real life is from your blog – including the language! I bet that makes having your own space online even more important.
I agree about meeting other bloggers – I think that’s why our online friendships become so important. And why my first trip to Alt Summit kind of blew my mind.
Ah, Alt Summit, one day I’ll make it too!
That would be amazing if we could meet there!
Nicely summarized. Thanks for the insight.
Thank you Rochelle! As soon as I finished this I began worrying about how well-written it is, because I’m claiming to be a writer! LOL. So it’s nice to hear you say that.
I always start my answer to that question with a chuckle too. I’ve found when I tell people I’m a blogger they either think that I do nothing (and live off someone else’s income) or they’ll just flat out ask how much money I make… something I’m pretty sure anyone with a “normal” job wouldn’t get asked. Ha! It’s quite bizarre. I know the weird reactions are because it’s such a new field and people don’t believe you can make a living off of it, so it’s definitely never a short answer/conversation when it comes up! And if I’m around people who won’t even know what a blog is (i.e. my 90+ Grandmother), I’ll just say I’m a writer and call it a day! =)
People have such strange pre-conceived notions about blogging, don’t they?
LOL, there are definitely some people it’s just not worth explaining to – like 90+ year olds ;)
I think I’m just going to start handing people my business card and walking away. :)
Ha! Maybe that’s the right approach, we don’t need to explain ourselves to anyone, right? I mean really, my husband doesn’t spend 5 minutes describing his job to people he meets.
Honestly, I think all the emotional parts of how we feel about what we do, including how we perceive what OTHERS feel about what we do, make it really hard for us to articulate it. Have you ever tried writing down the answer to “what do you do”? Try this and see what happens. First, just write freely, whatever comes to mind. No editing. No judging about rambling or length or madness. :) Then take a look at what you wrote. Is there a part of what you do that you’re judging yourself harshly on, feeling insecure about, or are overly concerned about what other people think? Explore those feelings for a while and see where they come from and if there is anything that you want to actually change about those parts of “what you do.” Come back to this another day after you’ve gained some perspective and pretend like someone asked the question again. Write down how YOU’D LIKE to answer it, based on what you’ve learned from the previous exercise. Let me know if this helps! xo
Melanie, you’re amazing. I’ll definitely sit down and try this. Thank you!
Ahhh! It’s like you’re inside my head.
Just yesterday I ran into someone I hadn’t seen in almost a decade. She asked what I was up to and I said, I have this thing I’m doing with (this group) and I write and *mumbled* blog.
Why did I do that? I’m really really proud of my blog. I’m really really proud of my blogging friends. I LOVE blogs and I’m blown away by the opportunities that have come my way because of my blog (including meeting other creatives like you!).
I’m not sure if I’ll ever really cozy up to the idea of calling myself a blogger. But I suppose that is what I am. I write, take photos, design, curate, create, manage other contributors, publicity, marketing and strategy. And that? That’s blogging. It’s hella hard work.
You’ve made two great points: we definitely should be proud of our blogs and our work. And, people really don’t understand the amount of work it can take to maintain and grow a blog. – can we put your list of things we do on our business cards?
Hi Mari. Great topic!
I sometimes tell people I’m an “online writer” when I think they might not understand what blogging is. I also feel weird talking about it because it IS hard to explain. You nailed it.
Also, think true artists (as you are) always have trouble with descriptors. It’s because our world is analyzing things: the visual, the sounds, the look, the feel the movement, the textures, the colors, the humor. It’s really hard when your brain works that way: analyzing things to sum it up with a word. Especially when the word doesn’t seem the fit.
Perhaps as we move forward, a new phrase will be coined. And perhaps it will be better suit what we all do–but until then–we will blog! :)
xo
I really love this idea that visual people have a hard time defining things with words – I think that’s such a valid point!
I agree, we either need a new term, or need to help define blogger to suit our needs. (Similar to how we might try to redefine “mommy-blogger”. Gag.)
I am fairly shy about my blog in “real life”. I think because there is so much of me in it. I definitely struggle with the exact thing you describe but I am trying to get more confident. In fact, this post has me wanting to declare myself a blogger loud and proud :)
Yes! The confessional side of blogging is so strange, when I meet someone who knows my blog, I always have a moment of panic. But I agree, we should be proud!
You have been reading my mind! I still refer to myself as a teacher to most people who ask, despite the fact that I haven’t really been teaching for 5 years. People’s eyes glaze over when you tell them you are a stay at home mum, and blogging seems to confuse people (although they tend to pay more attention if they discover you make money from it!) Sometimes I say “I write about sewing. On the internet.”
Close family and friends are really supportive which is the main thing, and I’ve made so many fantastic online blogger friends. I’m proud to be part of the online community and it really keeps me motivated. So yep – I’m a Blogger :)
Yep, you’re a blogger. I still say that I’m a professor, but it’s been a year since I taught. It’s hard to let go of the things we’re proud of – blogging should be the same way!
Wow! First of all, thanks for writing this. I’m just starting out and so it is especially difficult to explain that I am blogging (for no $). I also say that I am a teacher by profession but I am “seeing how this works out” which belittles what I really am working and hoping for. In actuality, most people are very supportive and impressed even, that I left my job to find my passion. And I would much rather have half a dozen creative “jobs” that I love than one that I hate. I’m happier than ever and I should tell people that!
That’s it exactly Elizabeth! I prefer my life now, with multiple “jobs”, then when I was working full-time. I think I’m truer to myself as a person (and not caught up in the corporate whirlwind) and I love being more available to my daughter too. It’s a GREAT life.
Whenever I talk about you with my marketing colleagues, I always refer to you as an extremely successful blogger. You have a very special quality, Mari, and sing your praises constantly. I am shocked to hear how differently you view your profession. Your career and success are coveted.
When I think about the blogs I love most and read with the most frequency, there is always a magnetic, unique personality behind the blog… A real person that I feel like I know personally and would feel totally comfortable introducing myself to if we ever met. Your blog is among an elite group. Embrace and be proud of your “blogger” job title! You are doing everything right.
OH Kris, that means so so much to me. You’ve watched this from the beginning and some of this I would never have figured out with any certainty if I hadn’t had your support. THANK YOU!!!
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